 In 2003, soon after Dick's diagnosis of Alzheimer's and ten years prior to his death, he and I began participation in a longitudinal study at the Sun Health Research Institute.
We agreed to continue visits to the research center every year for testing until our deaths when our bodies would be donated for research. He often expressed pleasure in having the opportunity to participate in furthering the understanding of Alzheimer's. "Be sure they rush me to the research center right away when I die, Honey. They need to study my brain as soon as possible." After Dick's last breath, the hospice nurse packed his head in ice cubes, held in place with a bath towel, to help preserve his brain. Our son and granddaughter flanked me, holding my hands, while we walked behind Dick's body. I leaned into the vehicle which would speed him to the research center and quickly kissed him, whispering my love one last time. Turning to the men who would take him away, I begged them, "Please be gentle with him." They solemnly assured me they would do so. I had fulfilled my sweetheart's wish to rush him away. He had given his last and greatest gift. Only then did I comprehend the gaping emptiness in my heart.
4 Comments
1/4/2016 11:07:03 am
I can't imagine how difficult this was for you and your family, Joyce. Such a huge gift to humanity though.
Joyce Sorensen
1/4/2016 08:27:48 pm
Thank you, Ellen. You are right. We didn't want him to leave so quickly. At the same time, I felt joy in having done exactly as he had requested.
Julie Carter
1/8/2016 01:05:15 pm
Thank you for the loving care you gave my father throughout his illness and ensuring that his final gift was fulfilled in such a loving manner. Dad was altruistic in his experience of Alzheimer's marked by his strong desire to participate in research to advance knowledge and hopefully some day find a cure. I deeply appreciate your commitment for you both to attend all research appointments and realize how difficult and taxing it could be for you at times. You continue to honor dad with your book and he would be very proud of you. You forge on, providing a forum to expand communication about grief -- a topic that is difficult to express in our culture. You give of yourself and allow others to share and explore their feelings and experiences. Again, thank you for ensuring that dad had the opportunity he desired to make his losses from the illness have meaning and positive outcomes. I thank dad also, as probably many others do, for his organ donor gifts to others around the world. He could not have done this without you. I love you. You are an inspiration.
Joyce Sorensen
1/8/2016 07:33:29 pm
Thank you, Julie, although it always feels odd when you 'kids' thank me for taking care of your dad. It was my honor. He served his family, his community and his country. You took care of him too, especially when you lived near us. Remember all of the times you had him over for coffee and we (surreptitiously) watched so he wouldn't get lost in the three blocks between our houses? Think of all the crossword puzzles and the Diamondback games you shared with him when you could have been doing something else. I recall the many times you took him places -- to haircuts, shopping, movies, coffee with Art, and so much more. You stepped in for me when I got tired, so you did it for both of us. And now you serve your grandchildren. It is called family. I love and respect you. Leave a Reply. |
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